Saturday, February 26, 2011
Protein is disgusting.
I’ve been learning a lot about the food pyramid, thanks to bug. As you're aware, he’s 3 going on 30, so he knows all there is to know about nutrition and just about everything else of importance.
(An unrelated illustration of that fact? Every morning he wakes up, comes to the top of the stairs and calls down, “I waked up! I waked up because it’s lighter now! It’s lighter now because the Earth isn’t turned away from the sun anymore!” He is a scientist in the making. And I thought he’d be an actor...)
A few food facts that I did NOT KNOW until having a pre-schooler:
There are three main food groups. Macaroni and cheese, chocolate milk, and chocolate. Anything else is just fluff.
Chocolate trumps anything else in terms of desirability AND being good for bug. Except chocolate milk. And chocolate animal crackers. This may not be the case for everyone, because when I remind him that he has to eat things that are good for him, he claims, “It IS good for me. Maybe not for you, but for ME.”
So, it obviously follows: the rules of nutrition are fluid and malleable. What is considered healthy varies from person to person.
Man cannot live on yogurt alone, but apparently little boys can.
What nutritional values you are lacking can always be made up for with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because they are “the best for you.” (Besides chocolate, that is.)
Meat is really, really bad for you. Unless you don’t know it’s meat. Then it’s ok. And also pretty tasty.
And my most recent discovery: protein is disgusting. Really, really disgusting.
Last week I conceded to make macaroni and cheese for lunch, conditioned upon the inclusion of something more substantially healthy (or so I thought) like tuna. Now, I am aware that some people are disgusted by the thought of macaroni and cheese with tuna. I did not grow up eating mac and cheese this way, but tried it when I got a little older and think it’s pretty tasty (with the right tuna). When bug asked me why I was making this little addition, I explained that it was good for him and after a long volley of “why and answers” I won the match with “because tuna has protein which makes us big and strong.” Well, after the first bite bug refused his absolute favorite food ever and instead went willingly to his room for quiet time. This, in and of itself, is remarkable and clearly demonstrates the aforementioned nutritional rule - protein is a no-no.
As if to drive this point home, today when I asked him if he would like mac and cheese for lunch, he replied enthusiastically:
“YES! But no protein!”
And before you send me to child services on grounds that I only feed my child mac and cheese and chocolate, I’ll have you know that I only OCCASIONALLY make a meal of both.
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