Why I Will Never Be Taking My Own Family Photos EVER Again. Ever.

The other day I forced my family out to a derelict brick shed next to some train tracks so we could take family photos.  There was a reason - I don't submit to torture willingly or any more often than absolutely necessary, I mean, I'm not WEIRD.  (I am a little weird.)

But, honestly, with this family you'd think I told them we were all going to a group rate on root canals with a little paper cut and lemon juice thrown in.

Apparently family photos aren't really fun?  Or something? 

I happen to be just a little OCD when it comes to certain things.  Like making my yarn pom poms completely even all the way around, or lining our sheets up completely straight on the bed before we fall asleep or closing all the open doors when I'm in a room.  And photos.  I'm a firm believer that all things should "go" together when taking photos.  I mean the clothes, the props, the background... not MATCH.  I do NOT like matchy matchy when it comes to family pictures especially - I like coordinating colors and patterns, balance, and a combination of styles that creates a cohesive themed look.  Or something like that.

All of that explanation to let you know that I was a little... uh, what's the word?... anxious stressed CRAZED the evening we took these.  I needed the right clothes for everyone, the right props, the right camera stuff, an extra battery, etc, etc, etc.  So Pip didn't get a nap.  Bug was completely against the whole idea. Mini was only in it for the promised ice cream at the end, mr had to be somewhere else in an hour...

So, basically, the PERFECT time for me to be taking our own family photos.  Can I just lay something out here right now?  There IS no perfect time for me to be taking our own family photos.  Maybe someone out there can do it.  But this lady?  No.  Nope.  Uh-uh.  And I'll probably try like 5 more times anyway before I give up.

This is not my favorite.  But it IS the ONLY one where we are all looking at the camera with somewhat normal looks upon our faces.  Did you hear that?  The ONLY ONE.  Out of - wait for it - 300.  300 photos I took with my super awesome camera I love and the remote I got myself and we got ONE PHOTO where we are all basically on the same page.  

I blame myself entirely.  I should have put it off until the baby had slept.  And ate.  And was in a happier mood.  But I was "on a deadline" with these, so we went.

After sorting through 300 photos and deleting most of them, I narrowed them down to the ones worth editing.  And the ones you see here are the best of the bunch.  Never mind that Zoe is literally voguing in every. single. one.

This one's the mr's favorite.  It's definitely one of the cuter ones - we seem all carefree don't we?  Too bad Pip's glaring and squirming while the rest of us appear to be having fun...

And call me crazy, but this one is my favorite.  It's just silly.  And Ax has something sort of resembling a silly face, near smile, so I like that.

I'm not sure if this is too "gap advertisement" or not.  I just can't decide.

Also, Ax is obviously making a gagging motion, implying that these family photos are THE WORST.

But I didn't let the sun blinding us (causing all the squinting and mooshed up faces) or the bad attitudes or the screaming baby stop me!  No siree!  I insisted on attempting a few solo shots of the kids...

 in which the baby played with junk,

 became completely traumatized and forever afraid of wagons, 

 finally sort of smiled, due to the presence of a ball - his favorite thing -

 and eventually took off down the tracks.

 See ya.

Not to be outdone, this kid

 refused to smile normally.

 Because nothing I could say was goofy enough.

 But this look is much more naturally him anyway.

 I'd like to add that the wagon was a thrift store treasure I picked up THAT DAY for only $10.  We've never owned a wagon...
I briefly toyed with the idea of spray painting it a fun, bright modern color...
and then snapped to my senses.  Cover up all that vintage charm??  What was the point of buying an old wagon then??  I think I made the right decision.

Zoe thought she was on stage or something.  She quickly channeled her inner diva and started popping out poses I had nothing to do with.

And even though this isn't a true smile, I love her crazy wild hair in this one.

And I caught her true smile here anyway.

She may ham it up, but she can't take a bad photo to save her life.

 I couldn't for the life of me get a photo of them all together smiling, looking at the camera, or being photogenic at all, so I just snapped a couple as they walked.

Which are cute and true to life, so I love that aspect.

 And all of those?  Are the awesome ones.  You want to see the outtakes?  Trust me, you do.  For real.

 So.  Justin's in pain, Zoe looks insane, Ezra can't even open his eyes, and Axel is screaming his head off.  Super.

 So, maybe some kisses will help?  And Zoe is adorable.  Adorable.  Too bad the rest of us are less than stellar.

Nope.  Kisses didn't help.  Setting him down maybe?

 How about some silly faces??  Wait.  I think it worked.  He's not screaming!

 This one is ALMOST good.  Almost.  Except for a certain 7 yr old and his crazy face.

 And we were so close!  So close!  I love this one!  If only... I know a certain 18 month old who was determined to ruin every photo.

 I can't tell you how much I love Zoe's face.  Justin hates this photo though.  
You know what the problem is with taking these photos yourself?  When you're in front of the camera, you can't see any of those little quirky things you'd correct if you were looking through the viewfinder.  You know, the "put your chin down, stand still, don't be silly, look up, put her hands down, smile, don't smile", things.

 This idea is very cute.  In theory.  Except Axel hates wagons.  This is literally the only photo in which he isn't frantically trying to climb out of the wagon while yelling in terror at the top of his lungs.

 All in all, it wasn't the positive experience I'd hoped it would be.  We did get some cute photos I'm hoping to hang in a gallery type style.  And they are more real than perfectly posed and smiling children.  I'd rather have these silly, crazy, full of personality cheeky little hooligans.  

Still.  Next time I will for sure be asking someone else to push the button. 

Adios.

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This Tiny Girl.

Before my long absence, I shared bug's "beginning of the school year photo shoot."  You know, the shoot I do every year just before school starts for some "new school year" photos?  Yes, these are from September.  Yes, it's been a long time.  But it's just not right to share only one kids portraits, so here's the second kid.  I'd put them all in one post, but there's too many.  I don't want to break the internet.  
This is the last year I can consider my daughter so little and "tiny."  She's in 4K this year - and goes to school every day for a few hours.  Most days she still seems so little to me.  Then I look at the pictures and realize how old she really is.  Next year she'll start kindergarten and that'll be a real eye-opener...

I find my daughter stunning.

It's very likely I'm completely biased in the way most mothers are.  And it should be like that, I suppose.  But that doesn't change the fact that I really do find her stunning.

Her small features, petite frame, shiny golden hair, chameleon eyes that are sometimes slate-gray, sometimes earthy green and sometimes the clearest light blue sky.

Her quick smile, the way her eyes alight, the adorable crinkle in her nose, and that infectious giggle.  The three small freckles on her chin and cheek.

The way she dances everywhere.  The way she sings instead of speaks - turning her schedule, her routine, her menu, even blowing her nose, into an operetta for an invisible audience.

What she lacks in physical stature, she more than makes up for in personality.  There is a lot of that stuffed into this tiny package.

One minute she is laughing at her own joke, the next she's stomping to her room and slamming the door and the very next she's sobbing about how adorable you were in your wedding photo.

I'd call her a drama queen, but I'm not sure even that does her justice.

Her world is full of imaginings and friends and visions of her own creation.  She will never be lonely, because she is truly never alone.

She burst into the world with confidence and enthusiasm.  It was as if she couldn't wait to begin.

As if she knew the world needed her.

She smiled quickly and often.  As a newborn, some might have argued she was full of gas, but I know she was really full of mirth.

There are few things she doesn't approach with the same gusto - the exception being dinner.

She was stunning that first time I held her in my arms and hushed her quietly.  Stunning as her gaze found mine and she immediately stopped her cries.  Stunning as she reached her tiny arms for me.  And she is stunning still.

But do you know what I find most stunning?  
Her ability to love beyond measure every living creature she happens upon; most of all her family.  Her overflowing love for worms and frogs and birds and flowers and the poor, poor leaves as they fall from the trees.  Her love for things that don't always love her back - like Bob the neighbor dog who couldn't possibly love her as much as she adores him or our cat Delilah who doesn't love anyone.

Her ability to forgive.  Immediately and without looking back.

And her fierce loyalty to those she holds dear.  Never say a word against her dear brothers, because only SHE is allowed to fight with them and call them smelly.

Those are the qualities that take my breath away.

My tiny girl... and in comparison here you can tell she isn't such a tiny girl anymore...

There is no baby left in her.  She's grown into a girl.  A loving, animated, fierce and stubborn, independent and silly girl.

Who still laughs freely and smiles with that crinkle in her nose.

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