Why I Will Never Be Taking My Own Family Photos EVER Again. Ever.

The other day I forced my family out to a derelict brick shed next to some train tracks so we could take family photos.  There was a reason - I don't submit to torture willingly or any more often than absolutely necessary, I mean, I'm not WEIRD.  (I am a little weird.)

But, honestly, with this family you'd think I told them we were all going to a group rate on root canals with a little paper cut and lemon juice thrown in.

Apparently family photos aren't really fun?  Or something? 

I happen to be just a little OCD when it comes to certain things.  Like making my yarn pom poms completely even all the way around, or lining our sheets up completely straight on the bed before we fall asleep or closing all the open doors when I'm in a room.  And photos.  I'm a firm believer that all things should "go" together when taking photos.  I mean the clothes, the props, the background... not MATCH.  I do NOT like matchy matchy when it comes to family pictures especially - I like coordinating colors and patterns, balance, and a combination of styles that creates a cohesive themed look.  Or something like that.

All of that explanation to let you know that I was a little... uh, what's the word?... anxious stressed CRAZED the evening we took these.  I needed the right clothes for everyone, the right props, the right camera stuff, an extra battery, etc, etc, etc.  So Pip didn't get a nap.  Bug was completely against the whole idea. Mini was only in it for the promised ice cream at the end, mr had to be somewhere else in an hour...

So, basically, the PERFECT time for me to be taking our own family photos.  Can I just lay something out here right now?  There IS no perfect time for me to be taking our own family photos.  Maybe someone out there can do it.  But this lady?  No.  Nope.  Uh-uh.  And I'll probably try like 5 more times anyway before I give up.

This is not my favorite.  But it IS the ONLY one where we are all looking at the camera with somewhat normal looks upon our faces.  Did you hear that?  The ONLY ONE.  Out of - wait for it - 300.  300 photos I took with my super awesome camera I love and the remote I got myself and we got ONE PHOTO where we are all basically on the same page.  

I blame myself entirely.  I should have put it off until the baby had slept.  And ate.  And was in a happier mood.  But I was "on a deadline" with these, so we went.

After sorting through 300 photos and deleting most of them, I narrowed them down to the ones worth editing.  And the ones you see here are the best of the bunch.  Never mind that Zoe is literally voguing in every. single. one.

This one's the mr's favorite.  It's definitely one of the cuter ones - we seem all carefree don't we?  Too bad Pip's glaring and squirming while the rest of us appear to be having fun...

And call me crazy, but this one is my favorite.  It's just silly.  And Ax has something sort of resembling a silly face, near smile, so I like that.

I'm not sure if this is too "gap advertisement" or not.  I just can't decide.

Also, Ax is obviously making a gagging motion, implying that these family photos are THE WORST.

But I didn't let the sun blinding us (causing all the squinting and mooshed up faces) or the bad attitudes or the screaming baby stop me!  No siree!  I insisted on attempting a few solo shots of the kids...

 in which the baby played with junk,

 became completely traumatized and forever afraid of wagons, 

 finally sort of smiled, due to the presence of a ball - his favorite thing -

 and eventually took off down the tracks.

 See ya.

Not to be outdone, this kid

 refused to smile normally.

 Because nothing I could say was goofy enough.

 But this look is much more naturally him anyway.

 I'd like to add that the wagon was a thrift store treasure I picked up THAT DAY for only $10.  We've never owned a wagon...
I briefly toyed with the idea of spray painting it a fun, bright modern color...
and then snapped to my senses.  Cover up all that vintage charm??  What was the point of buying an old wagon then??  I think I made the right decision.

Zoe thought she was on stage or something.  She quickly channeled her inner diva and started popping out poses I had nothing to do with.

And even though this isn't a true smile, I love her crazy wild hair in this one.

And I caught her true smile here anyway.

She may ham it up, but she can't take a bad photo to save her life.

 I couldn't for the life of me get a photo of them all together smiling, looking at the camera, or being photogenic at all, so I just snapped a couple as they walked.

Which are cute and true to life, so I love that aspect.

 And all of those?  Are the awesome ones.  You want to see the outtakes?  Trust me, you do.  For real.

 So.  Justin's in pain, Zoe looks insane, Ezra can't even open his eyes, and Axel is screaming his head off.  Super.

 So, maybe some kisses will help?  And Zoe is adorable.  Adorable.  Too bad the rest of us are less than stellar.

Nope.  Kisses didn't help.  Setting him down maybe?

 How about some silly faces??  Wait.  I think it worked.  He's not screaming!

 This one is ALMOST good.  Almost.  Except for a certain 7 yr old and his crazy face.

 And we were so close!  So close!  I love this one!  If only... I know a certain 18 month old who was determined to ruin every photo.

 I can't tell you how much I love Zoe's face.  Justin hates this photo though.  
You know what the problem is with taking these photos yourself?  When you're in front of the camera, you can't see any of those little quirky things you'd correct if you were looking through the viewfinder.  You know, the "put your chin down, stand still, don't be silly, look up, put her hands down, smile, don't smile", things.

 This idea is very cute.  In theory.  Except Axel hates wagons.  This is literally the only photo in which he isn't frantically trying to climb out of the wagon while yelling in terror at the top of his lungs.

 All in all, it wasn't the positive experience I'd hoped it would be.  We did get some cute photos I'm hoping to hang in a gallery type style.  And they are more real than perfectly posed and smiling children.  I'd rather have these silly, crazy, full of personality cheeky little hooligans.  

Still.  Next time I will for sure be asking someone else to push the button. 

Adios.

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It's that time again...

Time to make a come back.  It's only been radio silent for a month and a half or so... so, yeah.  Hello.

the mr and I all dressed up to see The Phantom of the Opera which toured to our local PAC from broadway!  So good! 

I'm like Cher.  Or uh... Lindsey Lohan.  Or... someone famous who takes a huge break and then goes back to doing what they were doing as if nothing happened.  Except not famous.

I do not have a good excuse this time (You know, like being pregnant and hurling all the time).  Rather life just got... full of LIFE.  You know?  I've gotta ask.  How do all of the crafty/handy/sewy mama bloggers with kids do it?!  For real?  Like how do you LIVE and blog at the same time?  I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.

So there's some stuff that happened that I didn't show you.  Halloween for instance.  (Which was technically before radio silence but I still haven't shared it yet.  Pip was an adorable octopus and mini was a clown fish with the specifications that she wanted to be a GIRL clown fish, NOT Nemo.  So bug stuck with the theme and requested... an electric eel costume.  What the... how do you make that??  So I made a tail that velcroed around the waist and sewed white Christmas lights up the back of the tail and onto the back of the sweatshirt.  I'm fairly certain no one knew what he was. 

There were a lot of park visits.  Mr. had lots of random trips for work that left the kids and I alone and needing to get out of the house - A LOT.  So. Yes.  Parks.

It was nice.  November was unseasonably warm for a while so we played in the leaves.

Some of us tried to eat them.  Weirdo.
It almost took my mind of the fact that mr was in Italy - the one country that has been on my bucket list of places to visit since BIRTH.  Almost.  No, actually, it totally didn't.  Not at all.  Italy.... sigh.

"Hello, Dad?  Yeah, uh, you better come home now.  Mom's going NUTS over here.  NUTS."  I have to be careful letting him play with my phone now... recently while he was relaxing in his crib and I was in the shower he called my mom and had an entire conversation.  Not one she could understand, mind you...

When mr WAS around we took the kids on a few day trips around the state - trying to take advantage of the nicer fall weather we are definitely NOT used to.  We went to a beautiful hilly, forested area called Quartz Hill where all the rocks are quartz.  I wanted to haul a few boulders back to the van so we could renovate our kitchen counters, but mr said it doesn't work that way...

I did manage to get a few good shots of the kids - which is a feat in and of itself...

I mean, this one smiles but never sits still and

this one never smiles.  But look at that.  Nice photos!

Oh, and more parks.  But much colder.

And THEN - and this is REALLY REALLY CRAZY - we did something completely atypical of us and actually spent money on a real family vacation.

Something we have literally NEVER done.  Because vacations are always about going to visit out of state family (which is super cool, don't get me wrong, I love Justin's family... hi guys!) But this was our first totally all fun and playing and just us kind of vacation. 
The kids saw the ocean for the first time (and yes, it was cold on November 29th, but MUCH warmer than here, so...)

And then we put on our Mickey shirts and fun sunglasses and

walked through the Mickey head entrance onto a real live Disney Cruise!

It was surreal.  Like I said, we don't really vacation, so everything was extra magical - for me too!  We had a fun little verandah outside our stateroom.  The bunk bed disappeared into the ceiling!  We saw musicals and movies and ate awesome food and had impeccable service and swam in the pool and played in the splash zone and ate more food and then we went to the Bahamas and went to an amazing little tropical island with literally the most perfect weather on the planet and we played in the sand and did I mention we ate amazing food?  We ate some more food and looked out big portholes, and dressed up like pirates and watched fireworks and ate more, and played mini gold at 10:00 at night and the kids got to play in a special "kids only" club and Justin and I ate at the fanciest restaurant of our lives and then... THEN...
we met all the princesses!!!  And Minnie and Mickey!  And Tinkerbell!  And Donald!  And Sofia the First and Jake (from "and the neverland pirates" fame) and Doc McStuffins.  Seriously.

And then we came home to this weird polar vortex where is was like 20 below zero WITHOUT windchill.  It was, searching for the right word here... ugh.

And of course there was Christmas.  Which is pretty much the ONLY good part about winter and one of my favorite times of year.  So there were magical lights strung, and

decorated pianos since we have no mantel.  I made that chalkboard.  Remember that?  I also put tied little squares of tulle around LED lights - two per bulb all down the string.  You can see it there behind the music holder thingy.  It's kind of pretty, I like it.

We decided on a "peacock tree" again this year - aptly named because it is navy, purple, green and turquoise and makes use of feathers inside glass ball ornaments.  Those globe lights?  Not globe lights.  I decided those were too expensive so I made my own.  Know what they are?  Bulk ping pong balls.  Yep.  Normal lights, cut a slit in the ping pong ball and slide it over every other light.  Bam.  Want to know a secret?  If you order the super cheap generic balls on Amazon not only are the waaaaaay less expensive, but they have no logo or company name printed in black, they're just plain white.  They're also easier to slice through with a craft knife.  So now you know.

We had my whole family over for Christmas, which was loud and busy, but fun.  In the morning it was just us.  The kids got lots of new books to read!

And appropriate shirts to wear.

And isn't it funny what the favorite presents end up being when you pick and choose so carefully and in your head you've gotten the very best, most awesomest gift (like SKYLANDERS for the wii, FINALLY!!) and then they end up loving the fake shaving cream and razor that you got for like 5 bucks and stuffed in their stocking instead?  So weird.

I did NOT finish this rocking horse.  Turns out he's too short anyway, so I think it's ok if I take my time with it.

Also on the list of things I haven't shown you yet... this baby had a birthday!  Way back in September I'm ashamed to admit, but we DID have a party of sorts which I WILL be sharing at some point... oh, and there were other birthdays too...

Like this "Excellent Elephant" party for bug which we had in January although his birthday is right after Christmas - poor kid -

because elephants are his favorite animal.

Now wait, you're thinking.  That's only two parties.  Doesn't she have three kids?  And you'd be right.  I do.  But we were actually in the Bahamas for mini's birthday so she celebrated on the cruise.  Not exactly the DIY kind of party you share details about, but she obviously had a fun time.

Oh, and in that same vein, I threw ANOTHER party for my sister in law and my new niece Gemma!  This was actually a while ago, too, because she's like 4 months old, but still.

And yes, in case you're wondering, I HAVE been making stuff.  I just haven't been blogging about it...

The kids and I even decided to make some more recycled crayons... which is a story in itself, but you'll have to wait for it.  Short version?  Don't use molds from the target dollar section and definitely don't forget they're in the oven... just sayin'.

Also.  I made a wreath.

So welcome back.  Yea!

*Be sure to check below for all the fun parties I link to!*