Arg... I am speaking to you from the grave... literally. Ok, not literally. I just FEEL like death. mini and I dragged our poor selves into the dr. today only to discover we have two sinus infections and four ear infections between us. No wonder we've been so crabby and overly sensitive.
I know I've already filled you in on what a normal Monday is like, but have I ever put into words the insanity of an ABNORMAL Monday? No? Ok, let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
After literally 4 hours of sleep (thanks to a fitful baby) I dragged myself out of bed in time to meet K at the door. I plunk her down in front of Dora and catch another 1/2 hour. At which time, I am rudely shocked awake by the sound of my house collapsing around me. Serious. I thought I'd open my eyes and see not walls, but yard. No, it was just my three year old pile-driving his pillow pet from off his bed. After making all four of us presentable to the public (and mind you I said presentable, not "adorable" or "good-looking", and no my hair was NOT combed, thank you very much) I hauled us all into the urgent care for my "head feels like it's stuffed to overflowing with cotton balls and miscellaneous fluff" problem. The kids were fine at first, but you know how long you wait in the room for the doctor to come in. By the time she made her appearance, the 3's were squabbling over crayons and mini the sassafras was playfully making art on the floor with her cheerios. Sinus infection - check. Ear infections - double check. Moving on... called mini's dr. to get her in. With all the wining she's been doing, there BETTER be something wrong with her... drove up to a specific store 20 minutes away to go grocery shopping simply because they had ONE ITEM I very much needed that apparently doesn't exist anywhere in my town. After groceries, calming tantrums and tempers (not always the same, you know), and getting us all back home, I left the kids in their seats while I ran the groceries inside. I had only 20 minutes to get us back to the dr. for mini, and I had no intention of getting them all out only to have to re-wrangle them up from the four corners of the earth so we could leave 5 minutes later. I opened the back window to grab the groceries - and like any responsible parent, I locked my kids inside, so no passersby would notice their sweet angelic faces and be tempted to steal them. (Hmmmm....) Then, I tossed the keys up into the front seat, because heaven knows I couldn't be bothered to carry one little thing with my arms full of bags... and proceeded to pack mule the groceries inside. When I came outside I discovered three quite normal and - dare I say - quiet kiddos, staring out at me from a LOCKED CAR. Did I have an extra key to the car? No. My husband does. He's at work 20 minutes away, but I could call him... had I not left my phone INSIDE THE CAR IN THE DIAPER BAG. I admit it. I panicked.
I went in the house and searched for the track phone we keep on-hand for emergencies - that apparently is not really on-hand. I went back out. I paced. I debated breaking a car window. What would I use? A brick perhaps? I decided to look inside the car once more and weigh my options. Ok. Keys - right there on the console. mini, bucked tightly, almost snoozing. Lots of crumbs on the floor, phone, diaper bag, kleenex box in the passenger seat. The 3's looking out at me, smiling like goofs and waving. Oh, if only I hadn't buckled them in so thoroughly.
So, I decided to coax the smart one (just kidding, they're both smart) - K into unlocking the door. "K, can you push the button on the door?"
"Can you push the button on the door?"
"No, not that one. The other one."
"NO! THE OTHER ONE."
And I'm pretty sure at this point, the neighbors were all nominating me for parent of the year. That's why they got their phones out, right?
"No, no! The one back here a little. The lock. The one you push IN."
"YES! Push it!"
"Yes you can, K. Push it."
"It's too hard."
"K, for the love of everything holy, push the button in or so help me I will personally drink the entire gallon of chocolate milk I just bought."
And she did. She pushed it. Which, of course, set off our alarm. If the neighbors hadn't noticed my yelling, I'm sure they noticed my frantic dance over three car seats to grab my keys and push the fob in order to silence the horn.
On to the doctor for mini. There was no calming the 3's, they'd had it. My pediatrician actually threatened to not give them stickers if they didn't start behaving. (I love that guy.) Sinus infection #2 - check. Ear infections 3 and 4 - double check.
I have to go BACK to the store to get our prescriptions. Will the day never end?
Not only did I forget my wallet in the car and have to go back, I also dealt with not one but TWO throw-yourself-on-the-floor-ear-splitting-shriek-I'm-walking-away-now-because-I-sure-don't-know-you tantrums, both from MY three yr old, during which I did at one point LOSE my niece for several minutes, until I found her snuffling and crying,
"Kim! Don't leave me, Kimmie!"
Oh, dear heavens. If the neighbors could see me NOW...
I put the kids down for quiet time immediately upon entering the house - do not pass go, do not collect $100. K promptly fell asleep and bug promptly began a remodel - at least that's what it sounded like.
And me? Well, I had to put away the groceries and start dinner.
Well, what do you get out of this story you ask? Obviously the assurance that you are a much better parent than I am (can I blame the sinus infection for making my head a steady, heavy, low-hanging fog?), but also three yummy recipes! Well, two and a half, I guess. Thankfully, I got the antibiotics and heavy duty decongestants into my system in time to make dinner, or I would have had to renege on my promise.
No commentary. Just recipes. Haven't I talked enough already? I'll just tell you that it was all really good - and even bug ate the meatballs. Amazing, really.
Oh, I will ALSO tell you that, although the meatball recipe calls for making a gravy out of the drippings, I for some reason didn't HAVE any drippings. So I'll include my recipe - which I made up on the fly after realizing that fact.
1. Swedish Meatballs. (Thanks, Sarah)
1 lb ground beef
1/2 lb ground sausage
1/4 C dried minced onions
3/4 C dry bread crumbs
1 T parsley flakes
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 C milk
Mix the above ingredients thoroughly and form into walnut-sized balls. Brown thoroughly. Remove them from heat and drain on paper towel covered plate.
1/4 C flour
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
Using the drippings, add flour and spices to make gravy. Stir until the gravy thicken.
OK, as mentioned, my drippings didn't work out that way. SOOOO, if yours don't either, do this:
1/4 C flour
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1/4 C butter
1 small beef bouillon cube
1 1/4 C water
Mix it all together in the same pan you made the meatballs in. Whisk well, dissolving all the solids. Heat until slightly bubbling and thick.
DONE! And, my friends, it actually tasted right. Woot!
2. Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Ok, this is the 1/2 recipe. Because I don't measure ANYTHING for my potatoes, I just eyeball and use ratios. You know, more butter than sour cream, more sour cream than milk... that kind of thing.
Boil the potatoes for about 15 minutes. Mix them up in your mixer (I love that thing). Add some milk, LOTS of butter, some sour cream and then crush two cloves of garlic into it. Add the spices to taste. Continue mixing until the potatoes are creamy.
3. Microwave Bundt Cake (Thanks Sarah! - a different one, though)
Did you KNOW you could make a cake in the microwave???? And it tastes good!!!
1 chocolate cake mix
1 small instant chocolate pudding
1 package chocolate chips
1 1/2 C milk
Mix them all together really well. Spray a microwaveable bundt pan really well with cooking spray. Pour the batter into the pan, then microwave it for about 13 minutes. Test with a toothpick. Let it cool in the pan for about 5 minutes. Invert the pan over a plate. Allow it to set for a few minutes before removing the pan. Best if eaten warm.
hint one - do NOT overcook this. It'll get all tough on the outside.
hint two - you can do this with ANY cake mix/pudding/add-ins that you can concoct. For instance, here's what I did THIS time:
french vanilla pudding
1 package butterscotch chips
1 1/2 C milk
See? Delicious! I know, it looks really funny. But it's totally yummy.
Maybe I should take some to my neighbors. If they taste it, and realize what a good cook I am, maybe they'll forget about the whole crummy parent thing?