Wednesday, March 5, 2014

How to Craft When You Have a Needy Baby


It seems like only yesterday I was typing up this little post with some cute nakey photos of this adorable newborn.  Awwww!  Remember how I told you all he was so perfect?  Remember that?  

Why didn't you laugh and tell me I was tempting fate?  Why didn't you knock on a lot of wood on my behalf??  Why didn't you tell me to reserve comment until he was not pretty much exactly the same as every other newborn in the world???

The truth is: there's probably no such thing as a perfect baby, is there?  Although some probably come close (bug, for instance.  Then he turned 3 and all heck broke loose.)
The other truth is this: This baby?  He has got to be the most needy baby I've ever encountered.  He requires holding at pretty much all times.  He DOES NOT SLEEP.  No, really.  I mean he doesn't.  The longest stretch this now 5 month old has ever slept is 3 hours.  Naps?  Ha!  He scoffs at naps!

Gosh, I love this little pip and his super smiley smiles.  I love his coos and giggles and the way his babbling sounds like singing.  I love his eyes that STILL to this day look at me like he's in love with me.  I love his little grabby hands that want to cling and clutch at yours.  I really do.  

I love crafting too.  And there's not a ton of time for that anymore.  It's unfortunate, but true.  So, I set up this little tutorial.  How to craft when you have a needy baby.  Do you have a needy baby too?  Well, then, you can commiserate.

First, there are the necessities:
You will for SURE need a pacifier.  Make sure it is the baby's PREFERRED brand, or you're screwed right from the beginning.
You will also need a boppee or other baby type pillow thingy and a blanket.  Preferably "THE blankie" - you know the one.  
You'll also need brown kraft paper.  Or white.
A wood tray to hold your crafting items, 
and all of said crafting items.  


Let's discuss the layout:
You will first settle the fussy baby.  Wrap him up the way he likes (loose, tight, doesn't matter) and pop that pacifier in his mouth.  (note: it's a really good idea to have an extra pacifier on hand, like in your pocket.  That way, when the baby spits the sucky out and it disappears into thin air magically, you can save the day.)  Lay him in his boppee on the couch.
Leave some space on the couch, then set up your crafting - lay down the craft paper, stick the roll into the space between the cushions and back of the couch to keep it in place.  Make sure you have ALL craft items.  As in EVERYTHING you could possibly need.  Because once you sit, you really won't want to be bopping up and down, and neither will your baby.
See that little spot between baby and craft?  That is where you sit.
See that cute little face sticking out of the blanket?  Gosh, he's lucky.
And that craft?  That's going to be a headband FINALLY, gosh darn it.


You'll definitely want to make sure that Needy Baby is touching you in some way.
That's pretty much the number one rule of Needy Baby: Must touch mom in some way at all times.
Especially when she is trying to eat, do laundry, or sleep.  Or any other time it's highly inconvenient, because, honestly, who could say no to that adorable Needy Baby face?  Or the pout?  (Oh, gosh... the pout...)

And this?

This is how far Needy Baby will allow you to craft before being done with the whole scenario.  He'll then spastically throw his adorable coos to the wind and wail until you devote every ounce of your attention back in his direction, DEMAND that you pick him up and rock him until his eyes close, and then FORCE you to continue holding him because gosh darn it, he can tell when human arms have become boppee pillow arms and the latter just won't do!

So, how to craft when you have a needy baby?

When you figure it out, let me know.




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