Things my Two-Year-Old Taught Me: Part V

The two’s were doing a really good job playing by themselves.  They were using the toy kitchen to serve each other drinks (I’m not sure what they were “drinking”, but since bug’s idea of a nice “stiff one” is chocolate milk, I think that’s probably a sure bet.)  Mini was finally taking one of her much needed, highly sought after and generally resisted naps.  I decided to jump online and sort through some emails, possibly do a little writing and research more DIY projects since the computer is literally five steps away from the play room and the pretend kitchen.  Everything downstairs is kid-proofed (except the mac, which I learned) so I figured, what could go wrong?  Famous last words. 

Thursday my two year old taught me that it takes just 5 minutes to go from this:  

to this:  

I usually keep my makeup in our downstairs bathroom so I can get ready for the day while the kids play in the play room and in sight (on the days I actually do my makeup, that is).  And since the downstairs bathroom is the largest of our bathrooms, I keep my old theatre makeup in the storage under the sinks, as well.  Who knows when you might need some purple face paint or false eyelashes - let alone green shimmer and those stencils you stick on over your eyebrows to draw them on bigger and straighter?  I, for one, sometimes feel like whipping out the Ben Nye for no good reason at all...

And so, it is no surprise, really, that bug and K somehow managed to break free of the child restraints on the bathroom door (really, these two have a future in the escape-artist business.  Houdini has nothing on them) and head straight for the bins of colorful powders, brushes, liquids and tubes.  It was a veritable treasure trove of rainbow goodness, much too inviting for curious little hands (and faces).

By the time I found bug, he looked like David Bowie circa ’86 after a few drinks and a bad fist fight over who should really be the “Goblin King.”  Very extreme, very couture.  

K, on the other hand, looked pretty good.  

She preferred gold above all else and looked better than MANY, MANY young celebrities out there who look as if they’ve taken a large black sharpie to their eyes:

K obviously likes the natural look.

(I don't want to be sued for libel, so you'll have to guess who this could be)

They were quite nice to the actual makeup, surprisingly, so I didn’t have to throw any away, and while I don’t want to encourage deviant behavior (like breaking into a locked room, stealing someone’s stuff and happily engaging in an activity you know full well is a ‘no-no’ - to say nothing of the cross-dressing tendencies of my son) I also have to say how proud I was that they got the makeup just exactly where it is supposed to go.  All lipstick and gloss was near the lips, all eyeshadow around the eyes, and the blush made it onto the cheeks (or at least ONE cheek, in K’s case).  It shows how well they are capable of paying attention; so they sure won’t get away with the “I have the attention span of an excessively excited puppy” routine they usually use to evade undesirable tasks.

 I think there are many lessons I’ve taken away from this experience.  First of all, and this is something I’ve learned before and really should remember: no eyes in the back of my head + sneaky little stinkers = messes, mistakes and mischief.  Secondly, the boy likes color.  The more the better.  Sometimes it’s just more fun to go wild, try something new, go big, sneak attack the comfort zone.  Thirdly, just because you use one of these:

 to lock your doors up, does not mean they are secure.  There is no child-proof.  There is only child-resistant.  And most importantly, our bambinos watch us.  They watch us carefully.  bug and K know exactly where to apply lipstick, how to sweep their shadow and the proper execution of bronzer to highlight and contour.  Is this some innate knowledge intrinsically rooted in their very makeup?  (hee hee, no pun intended) Of course not.  They learn by example.  Having watched my own parents, I know just how significant this principle is.  Nothing speaks so loudly to a child as our actions.  And in reflecting on this idea yesterday, I resolved to set a more fit and conscious precedent for the twos, mini, and any other child who may look to me as a standard.  It was Albert Einstein who said that “setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”

And lastly: we all need a bit of sprucing up from time to time.  President Spencer W. Kimball once said, “even an old barn looks better with a fresh coat of paint.”  bug obviously concurs.